


Birthday Prologue

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [14]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Modern AU, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>johnn: sometimes it was really nice<br/>little lion: sometimes it was creepy<br/>more like HUNKules: it got sexual like twice<br/>little lion: those were the good ones</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> FUN FACT: nobody actually knows Hercules Mulligan's real birthday so I made it May 12 bc idk he seems like a May child to me :///

**little lion** : IM WALKING UP THE STAIRS TO THE APARTMENT

**little lion** : I CAN HEAR LAF SCREAMING

**little lion** : SHOULD I BE AFRAID

**laf** : A WHOLE GALLON OF MILK

**laf** : A WHOLE GALLON

**laf** : LOST

**little lion** : you're scaring me

**laf** : I FUCKIGNGNG NG D R O PP ED IT

**laf:** AND IT BUSTED

**little lion** : okay I'm coming up the stairs

**laf** : it's eVERYWHERE

**little lion** : WHERE ARE JOHN AND HERC

**laf** : TRYING TO WIPE UP THE MILK

**little lion** : tell me when they have it all cleaned

**laf** : WHY

**little lion** : BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN AND IF YOU LOVED ME AT ALL YOU WOULD DO THIS FOR ME

**laf** : FINE

\---

**johnn** : RUDE AS HELL

**more like HUNKules** : FUCK YOU GUYS

**laf** : IM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK

**little lion** : I AM SMART AND CLEVER AND YOU ALL LOVE ME

**little lion** : JUST REMEMBER THAT

**more like HUNKules** : I

**more like HUNKules** : IM STILL MAD

**johnn** : SAME

**little lion** : NO

\---

**little lion** : are you still mad at us

**johnn** : why are you texting this

**little lion** : dramatic effect

**johnn** : okay

**little lion** : answer the question

**johnn** : I don't think we were every really mad at you

**johnn** : just a little BETRAYED

**johnn** : we love you two no matter what tho

**laf** : lsiten herehe you moherfuxers

**laf** : I amm ALSEEP

**laf** : YHW ARNET UOY

**little lion** : I

**johnn** : goodnight

**little lion** : gn

**laf** : ubyebe

\---  
**laf** : am I always like that when I am asleep

**more like HUNKules** : it's gotten better over the years

**little lion** : it really has

**johnn** : by a lot

**laf** : whAT

**little lion** : when we first moved into this apartment you talked in your sleep

**johnn** : sometimes it was really nice

**little lion** : sometimes it was creepy

**more like HUNKules** : it got sexual like twice

**little lion** : those were the good times

**laf** : WHAT DID I SAY

**more like HUNKules** : stuff like how much you loved us and that's it

**johnn** : NONO heRCULES

**johnn** : DONT EVEN

**laf** : DONT EVEN WHAT

**johnn** : I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU

**more like HUNKules** : I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT

**laf** : GUYS

**johnn** : OUR DEAR HERCULES IS TRYING TO ACT LIKE THERE WASNT A TIME WHEN YOU ONCE STARTED TALKING N O N S EN S E ABOUT WHAT LIVES UNDERGROUND AND IN THE WOODS AND IN SPACE AND THE OCEAN AND SHIT AND THAT IT SCARED HIM SO MUCH HE HAD TO SLEEP IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH THE LIGHTS ON FOR A WEEK

**laf** : OH MY GOD

**little lion** : I REMEMBER THAT

**laf** : I DONT REMEMBER HIM EVER SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR A WEEK

**little lion** : HE WOULD WAIT UNTIL YOU FELL ASLEEP AND THEN HE'D LEAVE AND HE'D SET AN ALARM SO HE'D BE THERE WHEN YOU WOKE UP

**more like HUNKules** : IM CALLING THE  P O L I C E

**laf** : jFC

**little lion** : it still happens sometimes but it's a  lot less coherent and less frequent

**johnn** : hercules still gets anxious over it

**more like HUNKules** : IT WAS TERRIFYING

**little lion** : NO???

**johnn** : it wasn't

**more like HUNKules** : YOURE SO MEAN TO ME

**johnn** : LOVE YOU

**little lion** : ILY

**laf** : SORRY FOR MAKING YOU SCARED LIKE THAT DEAR

**more like HUNKules** : :^))))))

**little lion** : awww

\---

**laf** : I'm booooororooed

**little lion** : I don't know what you want us to do abt that

**laf** : wanna have a nail painting party

**little lion** : we're at work??

**laf** : sooooo??

**little lion** : I have woRk to do??

**little lion** : plus where are you going to get nail polish

**laf** : I keep it in my desk for precisely this

**little lion** : right

**little lion** : anyway soz I have work to do ily

**laf** : I have that pretty green that you liked when I bought it

**little lion** : I'll be there in thirty seconds

**johnn** : do you have that blue one

**johnn** : the one I wore that one time and then I like cried bc they chipped

**laf** : ye actually

**johnn** : I'm already in the elevator

**laf** : yAy

**more like HUNKules** : what the fuck is happening  
\---  
**little lion** : gwash came in

**little lion** : saw laf sitting on top of their desk and me holding their foot

**little lion** : john is sitting next to them with one of their hands

**little lion** : all of us look at him

**little lion** : he leaves the room

**more like HUNKules** : that man has had enOUGH

**more like HUNKules** : LEAVE HIM A LO N E

**little lion** : never

**more like HUNKules** : well at least I tried

\---

**johnn** : we look fabulous as fuck

**laf** : we really do

**more like HUNKules** : I

**laf** : I'll paint your nails when we get home

**more like H** UNKules: I'm good

**more like HUNKules** : wait do you have orange

\---

**little lion** : hercules has really nice thighs I love them

**johnn** : what are you doing that made you think of that

**little lion** : definitely,,,,not,,,,having sex,,,,,with,,him,,,,,,,,,

**johnn** : I

**little lion** : hoLY sh I T

**johnn** : wh AT

**little lion** : oops I meant to say that out loud

**johnn** : OH MY GOD

**johnn** : thAT ALSO DOESNT HAPPEN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

\---

**johnn** : SO

**little lion** : I don't like this

**laf** : why are we in a new chat without hercules in it

**little lion** : I miss him

**laf** : same

**johnn** : HE CANT BE HERE

**little lion** : OH IS THIS HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY PLANNING CHAT

**johnn** : YES

**laf** : O H

**johnn** : OKAY SO FIRST

**johnn** : gueSTS

**laf** : we have six friends

**little lion** : six??

**laf** : oops I counted you, hercules, and john as friends

**johnn** : that implies we're not

**laf** : we're definitely more than that

**laf** : and whichever one of you is typing out winky faces with 300 chins stop right now

**little lion** : ;^)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

**johnn** : ;^)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
**laf** : I want a divorce

**johnn** : GUESTS

**little lion** : us, the schuyler sisters, maria, and JC

**laf** : JC?

**little lion** : Mr. John Church!!1!!!!1!1!!1!

**laf** : R U D E

**johnn** : okay sOOO

**little lion** : gwash and martha can come

**laf** :  he's 27 this year

**little lion** : I always forget that he's slightly older than us

**johnn** : I thinks bc he was in the same college year as us

**little lion** : yeah true

**laf** : NAYWYAYA

**laf** : are we getting him one present or tw o

**johnn** : wait why

**little lion** : our anniversary is four days before his birthday are you kidding

**johnn** : weLL YEAH BUT WE'VE NEVER GOTTEN HIM ONLY ONE PRESENT BEFORE

**laf** : SO TWO

**johnn** : OF COURSE

**little lion** : WE SHOULD GET A FUCK TON OF BALLOONS JUST BECAUSE

**laf** : nO

**laf** : WE DID THAT FOR JOHNS BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR AND YOU GUYS POPPED THEM TO WAKE ME UP AND I ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK ITS WHY THEY WEREN'T AT ALEX'S BIRTHDAY

**little lion** : WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE A PARTY FOR ME

**little lion** : I didn't want one tho plz don't be offended you're all perfect I love you so much

**laf** : oh my god we love you too plz dear we're not offended

**johnn** : SO NO BALLOONS

**laf** : N O

**little lion** : what if we blew up condoms

**little lion** : does that still count as balloons

**laf** : WE'RE MOVING ON TO FOOD NOW

\---

**more like HUNKules** :  have you seen alex, john, or lafayette recently

**jmadzzz** : no

**jmadzzz** : was I supposed to

**more like HUNKules** : idk you work with them and you're the most tolerable member of the slime crew so

**jmadzzz** : you call it the slime crew too??

**jmadzzz** : I thought that was just a hamilton thing

**more like HUNKules** : it was but when you spend as much time as I have trying to think of a better collective title for it you find yourself at a loss for words

**jmadzzz** : eloquent

**more like HUNKules** : thx

**jmadzzz** : but to answer your question no I haven't seen any of them

**more like HUNKules** : thx doppelganger

**jmadzzz** : we never agreed on that nickname

\---

**more like HUNKules** : where arE YOU

**more like HUNKules** : I HAD TO TEXT JMADS AND HE KNEW NOTHING

**more like HUNKules** : he's actually kind of nice tho idk why you hate him

**little lion** : we're at a party store and he's dating tjeffs

**more like HUNKules** : hate the sin love the sinner

**little lion** : don't quote me to me

**more like HUNKules** : HA

**more like HUNKules** : wait party store for what

**little lion** : HA

**more like HUNKules** : ????????

\---

**little lion** : the schuylers are almost here with their respective s/o's and peggy

**laf** : oh gOd

**johnn** : can we be a little bit late

**laf** : NO

**little lion** : WHY

**johnn** : I'm at a craft store with him looking at yarn and he's like talking about color schemes and it's really cute and I think I'm crying I love him so much

**laf** : yoU CAN BE LIKE HALF AN HOUR LATE

**little lion** : THEYRE HERE

**laf** : YOU HAVE BEEN DEMOTED TO TWENTY MINUTES

**johnn** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha the next one has a twist on it 
> 
> ;^))))))) hint: the schuyler sisters are a huge part of it


End file.
